You belong in my mind
Just don't go

My mind is your home
Wherever and whenever you go,
Just remember that you have a home

And there's someone who waits for you to come home

Everybody always has someone to come home to, you know,

And you have it in me
Please, you, go home

I miss you

***

If I wrote "I miss you" here, I didn't know exactly for whom it was. It could be my missing cats, my missing books, my childhood, my man; you..,

No. I don't know.

But, I miss you.

I miss you, my unknown.

I miss everything about you which may have never been crossed my mind before. You are unseen. You are untouchable. You are so quiet--you never talked.

But you are thinkable. Though you are unseen, untouchable or whatever, you always come to my mind. Thinking of you has no limits. Thinking of you is a pleasure. Thinking of you makes me could write here again.

Thinking of you makes me alive. Because by thinking of you, my brain still works and so does every part of my body and that means that I am still alive.

Oh, you, my unknown,

If you want to show up yourself, just show it. I love being curious, because I'm a Leo and I could be like Sherlock Holmes* when I'm curious.

But for now, I don't wanna be like Sherlock Holmes. I don't wanna play detective thingy. I don't wanna play hide and seek. I just wanna wait for you until you show up.

Because, you, my unknown, I miss you.

***


* based on @aMrazing tweets about the characters of Leo.

A Post So-Called-A-Love-Letter #2

Actually, this is not a post so-called-a-love-letter. It's a confession. And I warn you, this post gonna be a long post.

Dear you, Another A,

You told me that you've always wanted to be a chef and a train driver. You're so good on computing stuffs. You are good on music, especially reggae music and you can play drum so well. You always take everything simply. You don't afraid of any risks would come if you break the rule. You're tough.

You touched me once. It was Wednesday. The whole of class were talking about a trip to Tidung Island. I was laying my head on my bag while the others talked about the plans. I wasn't that excited so I just listened to them and suddenly we were at the point when my friend said, "We should swim there. We should get our skin tanned!" I can't swim. So I just kept in silent.

Then you came in front of us. Asking, "Are we gonna swim there?" My friend answered, "Of course. It's a beach." You nodded and it happened. We touched. You nudged my arm in front of our friends and said, "I'm a devil fruit user like Sanji. I can't swim." You said it right to my face. After that, you went outside. I found out my self smile. I bet only you and me could understand that short conversation. You know what, after you said that and you went out, I really couldn't help the smile. I laid my head on my bag and as much as possible trying to covered my awkward smile.

That wasn't the only one we touched. It was Friday back then. Right the day before Art Performance at school. I knew you played guitar but I didn't know if you played well or no. I was playing my friend's guitar on the floor. I sang Ten 2 Five's song then you came toward me and sat on the chair above me. You strummed your guitar strings making some melodies and started to sang a song. I giggled. We both played guitar together but in different songs. No longer after you strummed your guitar strings, my friend asked me to give her the guitar I played because she wanted to play too. I gave her the guitar. After she left, I started watching your guitar performance deeply. I smiled. Found out you played guitar in front of me, I meant, for God's sake, there were more empty chairs in class that day but why did you choose to sat in front of me? My heart did tap when you strummed your guitar strings.

Suddenly, you stopped strumming and you asked me, "How's C#m?"

Gosh. My poor heart was beating faster than before.

I explained how to make C#m chord by verbal. I told you to put your fingers on 4th fret and your fingers on 1st string, 2nd string bla, bla, bla. You were trying to make the chord perfectly but you failed. So I grabbed your fingers and put them on the right strings. We touched. See? We touched. It was unexplained. Then you asked me more for B chord. I grabbed your fingers and directed them again. Strangely, you asked me how to make G chord and Am chord.

Wait what? I knew you played guitar but.....why? No, I meant, those were basic chords on guitar. Heck no. I didn't care anymore. I didn't ask you why of course. So I just grabbed and directed your fingers over and over again.

I remember, it was Wednesday but it's the other Wednesday. I don't like fix my long shoelaces so I just let them be. I was on my way to canteen that day. Then I saw you in front of class. You stared at my unfixed shoelaces then you said, "Fix your shoelaces. I don't want you go stumble."

Oh my God.

Don't worry, you. I've already fallen and stumble onto something. I've already fallen in love with you. With those mazes.

***

Dear you, Another A,

I know you won't like me because I, you know, I'm a nerd, not-so-good-looking, I'm clumsy, I don't wear make-up, I dressed up like a homeless, I don't like hangouts, I don't care about people's opinions, and the point is, I'm just not same as girls you have dated.

And I'm not worry.

Sometimes, I do hope that we could be together then I just go, "Lol no, never."

If we couldn't be together, that's okay. At least we had some conversations only you and me could understand. About One Piece--a very popular manga--and how I love chocolates especially Toblerone very much. At least I have taught you how to make some guitar chords perfectly. At least I have a reason why I doing my homework until midnight. At least I have a reason why I write some prose with you as the main idea.

At least you had given me a ride twice. At least you had text me, asking do I come to school or don't--on a heavy rain--and you chose to text me instead of your other friends. At least you have made me smile for these past 6 months.

At least I have a reason to be happy.

Well, Another A, thank you so much. I feel so blessed to have you in my "at least" list.

Sincerely,

Someone who writes much about you.

***

A Post So-Called-A-Love-Letter

Dear someone whom-I-Have-Followed-On-Twitter,

I know this may sound crazy and unfortunately it really is but, I think I'm in love with your rubbish and unrated tweets.

It was Tuesday at 11:52 pm when we first met on a chatroom. We talked about really random stuffs. When I told you that I hadn't been on cinema for 3 years, you looked shocked. Then you asked me what was I doing during those years. I answered, "watching animes, having a life. Hahaha". After that, we didn't talk about cinema stuffs but we talked about another random stuffs.

Oh, I loved this guy.

What? Wasn't it good, when you had a very entertaining conversation at night with a totally random guy you haven't known before and the conversation wasn't bad at all, and the guy really has a GOOD sense of humor? And I've always thought that, "There is nothing more erotic than a good conversation." And I found it in you.

You also begged me to listen to Nicki Minaj's song called Stupid Hoe. You said that the song isn't a song. It's a torture device. I didn't listen to the song on the day you begged me to. I just listened to it on my birthday a week ago. Oh, don't ask me how was the video and the music. It was really a torture device.

The clock was pointed on 01:00 am (I forgot the exactly minutes it was). You said that you were sleepy and you wanted to go to sleep. I said, yeah, take care. I thought you would end the chat right away but you didn't. You asked me if I have a Twitter or no. I said, yeah, I have one. Then you asked my username so you could follow me. I gave you my username. You followed me. And I followed you back. But the conversation wasn't really end. We talked again. This is such a shame because I forgot what were we talking and I felt like, damn, you! How could you forget such a great conversation like that? We kept talking. We kept typing and we kept laughing. No, I kept laughing. I didn't know if my cheesy jokes could make you laugh or didn't. And we were there at the point when you said, "For God's sake, stop typing. I want to go to bed right now!" I smiled. And giggled. You were so funny. So I said okay, take care--and our conversation that night was really end.

***

On the day after, I checked your timeline. I saw your tweets seriously and I found my self laughed. Your tweets were incredibly funny and cool in a classy way. Your tweets were so frank--also perv--but I did enjoy every words of them. I scrolled your timeline even until your first tweet. What a good stalker. Even until now, I always check your timeline whenever I signed my Twitter on.

Dear someone whom-I-Have-Followed-On-Twitter,

No, I won't say that I love you because I don't think I do.
You are a good person, I know, because your tweets show your personality clearly.
No, I won't say that I love you because I mean, "who are you? Do I know you better?"
No, I won't say that I love you because your tweets--which have made me feel that way.

It's all about your tweets. And you, as a guy who created the tweets, I think you are involved onto this most-bizarre-so-called-love-story-but-unfortunately-it-isn't. You created the tweets, and I found myself amazed by reading your tweets, so is it appertained?

Dear someone whom-I-Have-Followed-On-Twitter,

Do you know reasons why I always check your timeline everyday?

First, it's because I'm craving for your tweets. And I could be so cranky when you haven't updated your tweets for a couple of days.

Second, it's because I hope, one day, my name is written on your rubbish and unrated tweets. And I wonder what kind of tweets would be posted if my name was written on them.

Sincerely,

Someone who has followed you on Twitter 51 days ago.

Kotor.

Apa yang diharapkan dari yang kotor seperti ini?
Kebersihan? Atau pembersihan?
Sekalipun ada gerakan perubahan, kali ini tidak akan bersih hanya dalam satu atau dua kedip mata.
Ya sama kayak saya. Hati saya nggak bisa langsung bersih dari kamu. Sekalipun sudah bersih, masih ada sisa-sisa kamu yang berkerak di dasar hati.
Enggak, saya nggak bilang kalau hati saya kotor. Saya juga nggak bilang kalau kamu kotor.
Hati saya cuma penuh. Sumpek. Banyak barang yang tidak tertata yang selalu saya masukkan asal-asalan.
Ruang di hati saya sudah penuh. Makanya saya ingin melakukan pembersihan supaya masih tersisa beberapa ruang untuk ditempati oleh 'kamu lain' yang tepat.
Enggak, saya nggak bilang kalau kamu itu nggak tepat buat saya.
Kamu tepat---

Tapi mungkin, sepertinya, masih ada yang kamu lain yang tepat. Mungkin tidak setepat kamu tapi pasti ada.
Mungkin tidak setepat dan secepat kamu lari ke hati saya.
Tapi pasti ada. Nanti.***

Mungkin kamu lain yang tepat yang sedang saya cari itu masih tetap kamu.

Mungkin saya hanya memberi kesempatan kepada hati saya untuk membersihkan diri sebentar.

Dan begitu hati saya sudah bersih, mungkin satu-satunya kamu yang pulang itu ya memang dan hanya kamu seorang.***